I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
