It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
