I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
