this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
