Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
