she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
