he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She's like a pop up book from hell.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
