just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
pop tarts are not kleenex
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
