Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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