Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
