new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
