he shaved USA in his pubs
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
