Dual....:-)
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
