The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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