did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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