Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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