apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
