we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
