did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
