did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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