dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
