WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He felt like a one man threesome
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
