He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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