If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
