Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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