How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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