You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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