he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
where am i from again
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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