When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
