i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The ass gains better be worth it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
