So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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