Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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