I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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