the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
