Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
