Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
