You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
