so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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