If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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