Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dicks are not precious.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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