Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
