You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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