I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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