For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
