some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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