I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
