I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
