He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
