So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm lost and stupid without you.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
