So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
