Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
