Don't you send me to vm
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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