Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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