I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
