check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
