Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
