Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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