your room smells of hookers.
And success
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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