haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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