they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
