she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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