Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
