I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
