ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
