it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
