Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
