Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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