at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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