Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
