she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
