it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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