you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
