Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Randomize
