This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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