If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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